A Hole In The Fence

A very inspiring story. Thanks to Echoes19 for sharing. 🙂


I have just read this story, about losing temper and anger, about hurting people, take the time to read it and let it influence us all, Enjoy 🙂

A Hole In The Fence

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

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Confused about what to do with the Future

Yesterday, my mind was at war again. It started when someone was telling me about his plans for his future. This person told me how he wants his future to be, and how accurate he is about the details: he wants this to be like this and that, he wants to have this and that, and so on. This kinda bugged me because when I was listening to him, I suddenly asked myself: What is my future? What am I looking forward to? How do I want my future to be? What are my plans?

Ever since I began practicing being in the NOW, I let go of trying to control how things should be. Instead, I developed this strong trust in the Universe that ‘it’ will guide me to wherever I am supposed to be. I no longer had massive plans about my future. I stopped doing New Year’s Resolutions. I was done ‘trying’ and I began to just witnessing how the Universe continuous to expand and unfold even without me trying to control the outcomes.

So when my friend was telling me about his plans regarding his future and how he wants to have the control with the outcomes of his desires, it was as if he was firing bullets on me; these bullets made me think of myself as lazy, that I do not work hard to design or plan for my future.

This is not my friend’s fault, by the way. It was me generating all these thoughts. After that, I got really confused. I thought about my future and asked the same old ‘what if’ questions. What if I didn’t get to be like this or that? What if nothing happened to me? What if I didn’t get to be successful in this field I’m in, what would I be doing instead?

That night, I went to bed and I cried. I haven’t cried in a while. But this time, maybe because of hormones too (oh well), it all got crumpled up. I said a prayer, as I always do. But this time, it wasn’t about asking God something or thanking God for something. I just said “God, I’m scared.” I’m not sure if that is a prayer, but that’s my conversation with God that night.

This morning, I sent a message to my friend/teacher/mentor from Hawaii. It was a very short message; I just said “I need your help.” Then he answered after that and we had a talk.

I told him about my confusion and that my mind is at war (again), and I need clarity. As always, my friend is there to answer me in the best way he could – and I am forever grateful for.

Here, my dear readers, was what my friend told me:

“The mind is like that, always at war.  A ping pong game. It always tries to project its own reality. You have to make your choices. You will find the answers within you.

“You have three choices: Human having, Human doing, Human being.”

“Live in awareness. Like I said you have the choice. Let me give you an example: See for instance you are going to the grocery. Some people make, so that they know they should pick up from the grocery. Some people on the other hand don’t make lists. They just go to the store and if they see something they like, they take it.

“That is co-creation right there – because they made a choice. It’s just that people use different processes as to how they can get stuffs.

“You say you don’t know what you want, it is OK. For now – you don’t know. But this happens unconsciously sometimes. When you are talking to someone for example, after some minutes of talking to them, you get hungry. You say, ‘Oh, I’m hungry; I want something to eat.’ The Universe hears you – all the time. The food is there – always. But it’s up to you what process you are going to use to get the food.

“Maybe you go to the store to buy some food. That is the process you choose. Or maybe you felt hungry, and let it go, suddenly someone is bringing food to you – maybe this friend you are talking to notices you are hungry and he treats you food. That again is a choice, because you let things be. You didn’t plan, but it was given to you.

“Let’s go back to the three choices you have: Human having, Human doing and Human Being.

“Do you choose to be the person who wants to have everything? Who go chases for more… More money, bigger house, new car, etc?

“Do you choose to be the person who ‘do’ things? Who wants to plan and do stuffs… Go to the moon, get a degree or two, or three, attend seminars, write a book or two or maybe a hundred?

“Do you choose to just let things be? Who lives in the present moment, not worrying about whatever might come but trusting that everything is going to unfold perfectly?

“Who do you want to be, you choose. But the thing is… even if you do something or not, the Universe continues to move. It will not stop – just like you are breathing naturally. You don’t have to first plan to breathe, but you just breathe. You don’t have to desire for your heart to beat, it just beats on its own.

“Your friend chooses the process of having and/or doing. And you choose to just be. You both know what you want, but you just use different processes. Neither of you is wrong. You just made your choices.

“Maybe you got caught up and say, ‘Oh, he’s doing this, so I should do it too.’ It’s up to you to follow him – if you want; that is your choice too.

“You get to choose moment to moment.

“So now, do you have clarity? Do you choose to have, or to do, or to be? Are you satisfied now?

 Of course I answered with a blissful “YES!”.

“Good. I’ll talk to you later. And – don’t think too much, you get caught up with your mind. Have a great day!”

7 Little Things That Make Life Effortless

Take what you want from this list. I find these things work, but your mileage will vary.

Photo of me being playful 🙂

1. Do less. This is my productivity mantra, and it’s counterintuitive. I actually don’t believe in productivity, but instead believe in doing the important things. Do less, and you’ll force yourself to choose between what’s just busywork, and what really matters. Life then becomes effortless, as you accomplish big things while being less busy.

2. Having less is lighter. Start asking yourself if you really need everything you have, or if you just have it out of fear. Start to let go of what you have, so it doesn’t own you. And then, as you have less, you feel lighter. It’s wonderful.

3. Let the little things go. People who struggle often fight over little things. We obsess over things that don’t really matter. We create resistance instead of letting things glide off us. Let the little things go, breathe, and move on to the important things.

4. Clean as you go. I haven’t written about this for a long time, but early in the life of Zen Habits I wrote about the habit of cleaning as you go. Instead of letting the cleaning pile up, put things away when you’re done. Wash your bowl. Wipe the counters clean as you pass them. Sweep up dirt when you notice it. By cleaning a little bit at a time, as you make messes, cleaning up becomes a breeze, and it’s never difficult. By the way, this applies to everything in life, not just cleaning.

5. Make small, gradual changes. Most people are too impatient to follow this advice — they want to do everything at once. We have so many changes to make, but we don’t want to wait a year for it all to happen. As a result, we often fail, and then feel crappy about it. Or we don’t start at all, because so many big changes is intimidating and overwhelming. I’ve learned the hard way that small changes are incredibly powerful, and they last longer. Gradual change leads to huge change, but slowly, and in a way that sticks. And it’s effortless.

6. Learn to focus on the things that matter. This is implied in the items above, but it’s so important I have to emphasize it. Swimming (or any physical activity for that matter) is best done when you do only the motions that matter, and eliminate the extraneous motions. Stop thrashing, start becoming more efficient and fluid. You do this by learning what matters, and cutting out the wasted activity.

7. Be compassionate. This makes dealing with others much more effortless. It also makes you feel better about yourself. People like you more, and you improve the lives of others. Make every dealing with another human being one where you practice compassion.

Check out the original post by Leo Babauta here.

Should vs Want

Wonder how many times we use the word “Should”?

-where should I go?
-where should I eat?
-what should I buy?
-whom should I date?
-should I marry this person?
-I should go back to work
-I should finish this.
-I should help this person.
-I should be happy.


Instead of ‘should’, replace it with the word ‘want’, and see the difference. You will be in control of your decisions. You take back your power.

-Where do I want to go?
-Where do I want to eat?
-Do I want to buy this?
-Do I want to date him/her?
-Do I want to marry this person? really?
-I want to do work now.
-I want to finish this.
-I want to help this person.
-I want to be happy.

Have the intention to do it, rather than having the need to do it. You get to choose, all the time. Using the words should or must takes away your power to choose for what you want. Everything you want right now, you deserve it, so intend it. Own the moment. Make the decision, not ask for permission.

~El Princess Eclar

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