Advertisements

Here’s one way to immediately feel good about yourself

friends-hugging-646x363
 Here’s one way to feel good about yourself

There are times when we just don’t feel good about ourselves.
Maybe someone said something negative about you and you started vibrating that negativity,
or you feel jealous of someone else, or maybe you’re just having what you think is a bad day.

No matter what the reason is for you to feel negative, it’s just not so easy to run away when you’re already inside the hole.

I’ve had days like that too, maybe way too much bad days until I told myself, ”Ok, that’s it. I’m feeling awful and I don’t like it. My soul does not appreciate it, and it’s time to stop this cycle.”

That’s why I came up with a way to feel good about myself in times when I don’t feel like it — which is when I most need it.

A very effective way to instantly feel good about ourselves is to make a list of the things that we appreciate about ourselves.

Hmm, you may be thinking it’s not easy to do that when you’re already feeling bad about yourself.

Try it. Start with 5 things you appreciate about yourself. You’ll notice how fast that lifts your mood.

After writing down the first 5 things you love about yourself, don’t stop. Keep writing.

And you will end up wanting to write even more, because you will find so many things to love about You!

It is so easy for most of us to appreciate things, people, arts, music.. But we find it difficult to appreciate ourselves.

It’s because we don’t practice examining the good things about us, and we only focus on what we think are not good about us.

If each day, we spend a few minutes writing down about the things we love and appreciate about ourselves, we will become more of the things we are good at.

When we appreciate ourselves, we create a wonderful good-feeling vibration inside us and it will radiate on the outside.

The people around us will be able to channel that energy as well and we create a lovable environment with people appreciating us, smiling at us, approaching us, complementing us. You’ll begin noticing the ripple effect of it.

So grab a pen and paper and write down the things you appreciate about yourself and begin to create a more joyful world around you.

Advertisements

Strange, Awesome Feeling After Having High Fever

butterfly-sun
 The late afternoon of Friday last week, I already felt something coming.
The weather has brought really cold winds and sometimes drizzles.
A lot of people in town are catching colds and flu.

Even so, I still went out to catch up with friends on an open space – a go-kart area and we had pizza.
My friends also insisted me to try riding the go-kart, since it was my first time.
So I did, amid the really cold weather. Attacking the wind by riding the go-kart really fast is not a good idea!

I went home that evening, my shoulders were hurting, and my body felt really tired.
When I went to bed, I felt really cold and I had to be under thick blankets.

The next day, I woke up with continuous sneezing.
I knew that it will not be a ‘good-healthy-day’ for me.

The evening of that day, I felt really cold, and my body was shaking so bad that I had to rush to my bed or else I would faint.
My temperature raised so quickly while I was shaking. Fever and flu.

I take care of myself when I get sick, so I went to get myself some fever medicines, a few liters of water to drink, a basin with water and a face towel.

I took the medicines, drank lots of water, moisten the face towel and placed it on my forehead.
I drank lots of water that night and (of course) had to pee a lot.

I’ve had fever and flu several times in my life already, but this previous one was one of the most difficult, in terms of the body aches I felt.

It went on like that for 2 more nights until I felt recovery is on the way.

When my temperature was back to normal, I woke up on a lovely day — the sun was shining brightly, I saw the flowers in the garden, there were butterflies (in my previous posts, I mentioned that whenever I see a butterfly, it will be a wonderful day).
My body was still feeling weak that morning, but my spirit felt really happy.
It was almost a strange feeling, and also nostalgic.
I just felt — so good and happy!

So the first thing I did was whisper my gratitude to the Universe, and shout it in my heart, “Thank you, for this beautiful day.”
It is natural for me to feel grateful, but it was really special that day.
And I told the Universe how I loved that moment and I want to feel like that every day.

I could hear the Universe/Source telling me (in my mind), that the beautiful day, the butterflies, the flowers, the bright sun — they only remind me to tap into that wonderful-feeling place, but it’s always there. I will be able to be there when I remember that it’s always there.

I was so happy that I felt like crying, but I didn’t want to spoil the moment with my emotions.
I closed my eyes and connected to my ever-grateful self and in a spiritual way, sent my gratitude to everything in nature, and everything round me that morning, I let them know that I am grateful.

It’s been one week since that beautiful morning, and I still feel that strange, awesome feeling after having high fever.
I am grateful.

Detachment is not Selfishness – It’s Actually what Unconditional Love Really Is

detachment-2-2x4a6a1l86l4yjf9azqjgq

For a few years now, I have studied and tried to understand the meaning of the word ‘detachment’ and I came up with the conclusion that it is synonymous to unconditional love. But how could that be when detachment is the absence of affection? Let me share with you the important lessons I’ve learned through learning and practicing detachment and how I relate it with unconditional love.

I first heard the word detachment from a friend I met on Facebook (yes, Facebook can be a place to meet spiritual and wise people). He once asked me “Are you detached?” and my 19-year old childish mind cannot even comprehend what the word actually means, and I am being asked if I were detached. I quickly looked it up on the Internet and according to Wikipedia, detachment is a state in which a person overcomes his or her attachment to desire for things, people or concepts of the world and thus attains a heightened perspective.

At that time, I admit I wasn’t even that close to being detached. But I knew I wanted to be. I was just beginning in my spiritual journey, searching for the ‘meaning of life’, so it was perfect timing.

After that, I searched for articles I can find on the internet about detachment and any written materials from teachers, gurus, monks, yogis and so on.

I noticed is that detachment or non-attachment speaks more about loving our Self, above others. At first, it sounded like selfishness. It can seem like that to people who refuse to embrace the idea.

From what I have read and learned, being detached means not being affected by whatever happens outside of my-Self. I am detached when I do not try to control other people and let them be what they are. This also means letting them feel their sadness, their grief, as well as their joys.

We do not wish for them to change; because we can love them just the way they are.

This doesn’t mean we don’t care for them. We just understand that they have their own journeys to make, mistakes to learn from, and experiences to have.

It sounds painful at first, especially if we want someone we love to stay safe and guarded. We think we know better so we tell them to live a certain way, act a certain way and be a certain way. We think we are showing love when we do this.

But controlling someone make them prisoners of our own fears. It stops them from experiencing the fullness of life. We lock them in our own cages because we think we are not fit to fly, so they shouldn’t try either.

Detachment allows us to love unconditionally by letting others be what they want to be.

This, in turn, allows everyone to be happy, fulfilled and living their life’s purposes.

I had the greatest test of my practice on detachment when my past boyfriend broke up with me. It hurts so much when he chose his booming career over our relationship.

I supported him on his decision, but it took time for me to accept it.

But knowing how detachment works, loving him does not stop when we broke up.

I can continue to love him, being happy with his accomplishments, knowing that he went after his dreams.

Being detached is letting the situation manifest as it will, without worrying about the outcome. When things go opposite of what we’ve planned, we don’t get angry or blame someone else for it.

We let things be, and we accept.

Drunk with Emotions

A few days ago, I watched a video of a guru in one of his talks. He talked about the human emotions, and how we are ‘drunk’ with emotions. When we are sad, we are so sad.. and when we are happy, we are so happy. We are often ‘overwhelmed’ with emotions.

For a person in stillness, he should be able to hold these emotions and not get overwhelemed by them.

As I was listening to the guru, it seemed as if he was talking to me directly and I felt ashamed. Because I know I have been drunk with my emotions. I get extremely sad and extremely happy at times. I thought that was how I savor life — that it was how I experience life at its fullest, by grasping these emotions to such extent. I was wrong all along. I felt embarrassed.

For the past few days I have been observing myself and my emotions. I have been observing the waves of feelings that come and go and I find nothing. It isn’t numbness, but a feeling of indifference with my emotions.

I realized that the reason I was drunken with my emotions before is because I wasn’t consciously observing my feelings. Instead, I grabbed unto them like desperately grasping for breath.

Observing the feelings, emotions and thoughts is a way of stilling the mind. Ah, I thought.. I’ve always known this, but I didn’t understand. And the guru has to scold me to bring me back to my awareness. Like the Zen monks being beaten with a stick when they lose concentration during meditation.

Stillness is the way of living the middle way, when there are no extremeties. It is not that we shouldn’t feel happy or sad or anything anymore… It is about having these feelings and emotions and not be overwhelmed by them.

Frogs in the Kitchen

In our Facebook Page, I once talked about the little frog that is living in the kitchen. Well, it just stays right next to the faucet, sometimes hiding under a stone. Since I always see him there, I named him Freddie the Froggy. He’s been living there for a year now.

Recently, there are two other little frogs there. Very tiny frogs. Maybe it’s Freddie’s babies.

I know some people will feel like it’s gross to keep frogs at home, but I didn’t put them there. I just let the frog do what it wants and since it’s just sitting there anyway, not doing anything wrong, I didn’t shoo it away.  And now there’s additional two.

I’m thinking if I should take them outside in the garden.

Oh, by the way, I used to put Freddie outside in the garden before, but it seems to always come back in the kitchen for some reason.

I like animals and I never want to hurt them. Frogs don’t bite, they just look eww-ie but they are nice. 😛 Anyway, I don’t really touch them or pet them, I just say hi to them.

I guess they like it there because they know nobody will hurt them and we are not shoo-ing them away.

We’ll see what happens next. 🙂

Why You Can’t Eat Healthier

Article written by Leo Babauta of zenhabits.net

 

Most people have a hard time moving to a healthier diet, and they don’t understand what’s going on.

I was one of those people: 70 lbs. heavier and addicted to junk food, I would often tell myself that I’m going to start a diet, and even buy a bunch of new food, only to find myself snacking on chips, grande lattes, cookies, French fries and more after a few days.

Why? Because I used those foods to meet many of my needs, and taking the food away meant I had no way of dealing with some difficult things.

Food is a coping mechanism for most people, and to change our eating habits, we need new ways of coping.

Some examples of how we use food to cope:

  • We eat when we’re stressed. If you change to a healthier diet, how will you cope with stress instead? You need new stress coping strategies.
  • We eat when we’re sad or depressed. How can we learn to cope with these emotions in a healthier way?
  • We eat as a reward, when we’ve done something good. What will we do to reward ourselves instead?
  • We eat to socialize. How will we socialize without food?
  • We eat because we’re bored. How will we cope with boredom instead?
  • We eat because we’re angry. When we get in a fight, how will we deal with our anger instead of using food?
  • We eat for pleasure. Are there healthier ways to find pleasure that we’ll learn instead of using food?
  • We eat for love. We often equate food with love (our moms might have given us food lovingly as kids, or our lover used it to romance us), and so eating becomes a substitute for love. Where will we find love instead?

All of these (and more) are real needs. We all need love and pleasure and rewards, and ways of dealing with stress, boredom, sadness, loneliness, anger and frustration. For many of us, food has become the default way of meeting all those needs — and we can’t just take away the food without finding a healthier replacement. If we do, we’ll fall back into our old habit quickly.

It has taken me years to figure this out and to slowly build new, healthier habits to deal with all of these needs. But I can honestly say I’ve done it, and it’s possible. Do I still think about food when I’m lonely or sad or stressed? Sure. But now I have consciously built up some replacement coping mechanisms that work better for me, and I’m much healthier, leaner and fitter as a result.

Some things that have worked for me (your mileage will vary):

  • Exercise – a great way to deal with stress, boredom, anger. After awhile, a run can also be pleasure and a reward.
  • Meditation – excellent way of learning to deal with all of our emotions.
  • Tea – also great for stress, boredom, anger, but for me a great reward and source of pleasure.
  • People – I’ve learned to get my love from friends and family, and to use them as ways of dealing with my tougher emotions — talking with them, working out with them, simply spending time with them.
  • Cleaning – decluttering, mindful sweeping, mindful wiping things down with a rag (TM). A great way to mindfully deal with stress, boredom, anger, etc.
  • Solitude – I’ve found solitude a great way to deal with tougher emotions (you learn to work out your problems instead of avoiding them by eating food), and solitude can be a reward as well.

Read the original post from Leo Babauta here: http://zenhabits.net/foodaholic/

What Will Matter

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.

There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days. All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.

Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear. So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to do lists will expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.

It won’t matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.

It won’t matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant. Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought but what you built, not what you got but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success but your significance.

What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage, or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you’re gone.

What will matter is not your memories but the memories that live in those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident. It’s not a matter of circumstance but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters.

Written by Michael Josephson, a nationally known ethicist and radio commentator.

Previous Older Entries

%d bloggers like this: