Drunk with Emotions

A few days ago, I watched a video of a guru in one of his talks. He talked about the human emotions, and how we are ‘drunk’ with emotions. When we are sad, we are so sad.. and when we are happy, we are so happy. We are often ‘overwhelmed’ with emotions.

For a person in stillness, he should be able to hold these emotions and not get overwhelemed by them.

As I was listening to the guru, it seemed as if he was talking to me directly and I felt ashamed. Because I know I have been drunk with my emotions. I get extremely sad and extremely happy at times. I thought that was how I savor life — that it was how I experience life at its fullest, by grasping these emotions to such extent. I was wrong all along. I felt embarrassed.

For the past few days I have been observing myself and my emotions. I have been observing the waves of feelings that come and go and I find nothing. It isn’t numbness, but a feeling of indifference with my emotions.

I realized that the reason I was drunken with my emotions before is because I wasn’t consciously observing my feelings. Instead, I grabbed unto them like desperately grasping for breath.

Observing the feelings, emotions and thoughts is a way of stilling the mind. Ah, I thought.. I’ve always known this, but I didn’t understand. And the guru has to scold me to bring me back to my awareness. Like the Zen monks being beaten with a stick when they lose concentration during meditation.

Stillness is the way of living the middle way, when there are no extremeties. It is not that we shouldn’t feel happy or sad or anything anymore… It is about having these feelings and emotions and not be overwhelmed by them.


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